Bullies 'n hookers

Overheard At Work...

[Kristy:] Outta my way, butt nut.

[Me:] How did you know they called me that in high school?

[Kristy:] Butt nut?

[Me:] No, just Butt.

[Kristy:] Why?

[Me:] I have no idea. Nearest I could tell, it was some sort of dig at my last name.

[Kristy:]  That' doesn't make any sense.

[Me:] I know. That's why I thought it was funny. I mean, if you're going to make fun of me, at least put some effort into it. I couldn't even get mad. It was just so ... unimaginative.

[Kristy:] Wait. The person who came up with "Butt," was that the retarded girl John asked to dance?

[Me:] In 6th grade?

[Kristy:] Yeah.

[Me:] Only she wasn't handicapped, she was just a bitch with a vacant look in her eyes?

[Kristy:] Yeah.

[Me:] That's the one.

[Kristy:] Hahahaha!

[Me:] She also got married in Vegas and had a prostitute in her wedding party.

[Kristy:] Maybe she really is retarded.

[Me:] It's possible. A reasonably intelligent woman would at least ask the hooker to swap her purple sequined dress for something a little more classy, if not ask that the best man not, in fact, hire a whore to accompany him down the isle.

[Kristy:] HAHA!

[Me:] I've seen the pictures. They made up for just about every hellish moment I endured in high school.

[Kristy:] Well, it's the little things.

[Me:] the little, charge-by-the-hour things. The prostitute slept with the best man in the room he shared with the groom's father.

[Kristy:] Oh my GOD.

[Me:] That's what he said.