With An Ex Like Her, Who Needs A Proctologist?

Overheard In The Store

[Me:] Monster Pouch. That's what they call your ex-girlfriend.

[John:] I was waiting for you to say that.

[Me:] Sorry. I should have gotten there quicker.

[John:] Everybody else did.

[Me:] HAHAHA! It's funny because she's a narcissistic, backstabbing, lying, cheating, slutbag bitchtroll swamp witch!