Don't sweat the small stuff, it's a long walk back to Eden.

Overheard At Work...

*entering samples into computer*

[Kristen:]  Why are people so weird? This dog's name is Clotho.

[Me:]  Where are Lachesis and Atropos?

[Kristen:] What?

[Me:] They're the Fates.

[Kristen:] I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Me:] Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos!

[Kristen:] Listen, hippie, I don't speak nerd!

[Me:] Clotho spins the thread of life, Lachesis measures the thread of life and determines how long you live, and Atropos cuts the thread of life with her giant scissors.

[Kristen:] You can keep talking but I still won't know what you're talking about.

[Me:]  A little while ago I had a dachshund named Boinky.

[Kristen:] That's better.

You ain't no nice guy!

Overheard In The Bedroom...

[John, sick:] Oh, god.

[Me:] There is no god, only Zuul.

[John:] I'm dying. I've got the apocalypse plague.

[Me:] It's just Captain Trips.

[John:] Heh?

[Me:] Tell me, have you been dreaming about an old woman or a walkin' dude in a denim jacket?

[John:] ...I'm not...dreaming about either of those people...

[Me:] You've never read "The Stand"?

[John:] No.

[Me:] Ugh.