Overheard In The Bedroom...
*Bummer keeps randomly barking at nothing*
[John:] I'll show you my penis if you go kill the dog.
[Me:] No!
[John:] Why not?
[Me:] Because then every time I look at your penis, I'll be sad.
[John:] Just like me.
-----------------------------------
*John Malkovich commercial on TV*
[Me:] *scratching my thigh*
[John:] Does John Malkovich turn you on?
[Me:] No. I have an itch.
[John:] A John Malkov..itch?
[Me:] *dies*
